Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bittersweet

How it pains me, as an adult, to see life and happiness. To be unable to experience real love in a relationship is a very challenging ordeal. The longing in my soul is a heavy burden to bear. There is no one out there for me to seek out for I am trapped. I hunger for sincerity and devotion, yet I live with denial and lies. I embrace each one in the darkness despite my pain. Eternal devotion to shit!

The legacy I leave behind me upon my death is not a fruitful one. Sacrifice is all I can recall at this point. It is only experience and advice that I have given them through the years that I can bestow to my following. Having experienced almost everything once (twice, if I enjoyed it), I have little else to share. They do not know me, they only need me. They do not care for me; they are only concerned for themselves.

If there is one lesson taught to me these last ten years, it is that you are always alone regardless of the circumstances. Those that pretend to surround you with affection are mere leeches. Don't  fear or fret; it will do you no good to argue for their spare attention. You can only enjoy what you have before you, so you should never settle for less. Do not accept that meager existence of a man or woman - there will always be another. The next one will always be better unless you repeat your pathetic pattern of self-abuse. Don't live your life the way I have, you will only wish you weren't here. Life is truly bittersweet.

1 comment:

  1. Why keep sacrificing? Why continue to hurt yourself? Break the cycle so you can leave a legacy better than the one you envision. You are still alive- you can change your life.

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